Even if you are not one who watches the news, you really can’t avoid the conversations about the coronavirus. While there are varying reactions to the virus from those who see it as a great opportunity for travel deals on cruises to others who are emptying the shelves of toilet paper, I am contemplating how I feel about it and seem to be more concerned about the emotional impact and loneliness it could cause for many, especially singles.
Cancellations and Quarantines
My first thought is that I dread the cancellation of gatherings and potential isolation. I spent much of the winter already in quarantine, as I battled pretty much every virus that was out there. The toughest part during that time was not seeing my friends or taking part in my normal activities. The thought of going through that again is causing me some anxiety and makes me wonder about the additional health effects loneliness will have on people.
After getting over the illnesses and feeling the warmth of spring, I want to get out and be with people, whether it is going to a spring training game, a food festival or hanging out at a nice patio bar. Yes, I am an introvert who just said she wants to be around people. Right now, I am focused on partaking in all of these activities before the danger is reported to be high in my area. On Sunday, I went to a spring training game and found myself taking risks like eating with my hands (using a knife and fork to eat a hot dog is just not right). It was also windy, and I kept getting dirt or eyelashes in my eye, so I found my finger constantly digging around in my eye. Keeping my hands off my face and out of my eyeballs is going to be a challenge!
I keep hearing about employers asking their employees to work from home. While I am very grateful to have the opportunity to work from home one day a week, the thought of having to do it every day sounds a bit lonely. While I could still call my co-workers, there is something about the face-to-face bonding that I find important. I wonder if this affects me more because I am single. On many days, the people at work may be the only humans I interact with.
Community and the Human Touch
The gym is also where I find community, so I wonder how that will change. Many people are in close proximity to each other at the gym, and people are not always the best about wiping down the equipment they use. While we are there for our health, many may worry that there are too many people in close contact and that the equipment surfaces may harbor the virus. At this point, I will still go to my favorite class on Wednesday nights, as it is more than just a workout; it is an energizing group of positive people. On other days, I may do a YouTube video or find an outdoor activity as the weather is still nice (wait, is that rain I hear on my rooftop?).
I will also miss human touch. I didn’t come from a family of huggers and finally learned the value of hugs in my 20s when I met my friend Jane. I think I have now become an over-hugger. My mentee also always jokes about the time I stole a hug from another mentor that was meant for my mentee. Last night I met up with a friend for dinner and gave her a couple of extra hugs, thinking hugging may soon be seen as a dangerous act.
Travel Itch
One of the other difficult things to face is the possibility of canceling travel plans. I have a trip booked to New York City in May. I was so excited to get a great deal on my airline tickets and started a countdown on the chalkboard. My mom noted while visiting, “Your countdown has had the same number on it for days.” I think I had already started to wonder if it was really going to happen. I may just erase it entirely and find a more motivating message to display for myself. The travel itch is a tough one to ignore in these times.
Dating?
I could pretend that I am upset that dating may be difficult now. People may be more reluctant to want to meet, and it will be more difficult to happen to meet someone organically as people keep their distance or avoid leaving the house. Most people on Bumble already seem scared to meet in person, so I guess not much will change there. Or, we could all date in pods like they did in Love is Blind.
Actions to Connect With Others and Yourself
While it is easy to get stuck in anxiety with no clear answers as to what is going to happen, I know I need to move on and make the decisions I feel good about in the moment. If I end up under quarantine or if people just choose to stay home on their own, I will still find ways to connect with people.
Maybe social media can become more of a community again. While it has morphed into a place filled with ugly politics, fake news and memes, could it become a place for people to connect with each other again? It may be a place worth reaching out to people I haven’t connected with in a while. The Single Mingle group is also always full of conversation.
I believe there are some outdoor activities that could still be done together or alone that would bring some great energy. Hiking some less traveled trails would bring health and connection to nature. You could also probably stay a comfortable distance away from a companion and not be truly alone. There are not many surfaces to touch, unless you are going up a tough mountain like Camelback. I am sure Tanya would always be up for a hike.
It could be a chance to play with creativity. While I am not an artist, I do enjoy playing with paints, as it is very soothing. It would also give me a chance to write some poetry or blog posts. Tiesha has a lot of inspirational ideas on art and creativity.
And, finally it is an opportunity for introspection and focusing on yourself. There will be a feeling of loss of freedom and control about what we can do, so it is a great opportunity to take a look at being versus doing.
If you have any other ideas of how to face the uncertainty and potential isolation, please share your thoughts in the comments.