Note: This post was written prior to Biles returning to the games. Also, if you would prefer the audio version, check out the podcast episode and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts.
We all stood in awe as Simone Biles withdrew from Team U.S.A. in Tokyo. While some thought she should toughen up and stay in it for the team, most of us applauded the strength it took for her to stand up for her mental and physical health.
Many of us heard the term the “twisties” for the first time, as the media attempted to explain what was happening to Simone. Gymnasts use this term to describe a mental block that causes them to lose spatial awareness and lose control of their body.
While I am not a gymnast and probably couldn’t even do a cartwheel if I tried, I could see how the twisties have played a part in my life lately, and maybe you do, as well.
Especially in the last year, I have felt like I was walking on a balance beam, just trying to focus on making it across, afraid to fall off.
I have felt that I needed to prove my worth, so I have taken on a lot of projects I should not have and have rushed in to help others, which caused me to feel resentment and did not allow the person the opportunity to handle the situation and learn in the process. Did this make me feel more worthy? No, it only burned me out and gave me the twisties. I got so far in, that I couldn’t find my way back to myself.
I had to find the strength to finally speak up and to trust that by speaking out, it wasn’t a reflection of my worth. People deserve to hear the truth and we must take care of our mental and physical health. If we don’t, we are normalizing this behavior and are not setting good examples for those who may look to us for direction.
As single women, I think we faced many challenges over the past year. Some of us weren’t able to see friends and family for a long time, we were working remotely, and we lived alone, which led to a lot of loneliness and feelings of isolation. Things like group fitness classes at the gym, happy hour with friends and travel were our lifelines in the past that we could not access last year.
Now the challenges include trying to remember how to date, rebuilding friendships, finding new friends and balancing workloads. Worries of possible new lockdowns or restrictions, scarcity of things like rental cars and increasing housing costs aren’t helping either. It can sometimes feel like a lot to handle on our own.
I have always put pressure on myself to have everything together, to be independent and not ask for help. It is time to follow Simone’s lead and to be honest with others. No, I cannot land some of those vaults that I used to. I may need some friends to step in to assist or just take a break to restore and return in a way that is healthier.
Recently, I was sharing with a friend that the only breaks I have taken in the last two years was to visit family. She encouraged me to schedule a little vacation. I decided to book four days away, and it felt great to make a decision that would give me a break and allow time for rest and relaxation.
I also took the time to talk with my boss about how to refocus my work. I made a list of what I would be saying yes to and what items would be a no. At first, I was scared to have the conversation, but I know I would want my employees to come to me if they were feeling overwhelmed. Making this list has helped create a clearer picture of what will help me contribute in a more meaningful way, while not burning out.
I think we can also reprioritize our personal lives. Each day, me and a friend choose three things we are saying yes to for our health and text each other with the list to hold each other accountable. My list has ranged from a specific workout at the gym to taking three dance breaks throughout the work day. Hey, with remote working, you can dance like no one is watching. Our lists included things that might be more common health items people think of to things that are good for our mental health or items that are specific to our own challenges or needs.
If you think you want to try this, but are struggling with ideas of things you could commit to, here are some ideas of things I have put on my list from time-to-time or items I plan to add in the future:
Meditation
Water as my only beverage throughout the day (yes, I mean no coffee or wine)
Stretch breaks
Stand during Zoom calls
Writing morning pages (20 minutes to just write what comes to your mind – it helps your creativity)
Going to sleep at a specific time
Cooking or eating a healthy meal
Schedule time with friends
Call a niece
Read a chapter from a book you love
Watch a funny YouTube video
Take a walk
Breathing exercises
Hold a plank
Write in a gratitude journal
And, some days we just say we need a break and want to just go with the flow during the day. Breaks are important, as well.
Let’s give ourselves permission to say yes to the things that bring us mental and emotional health and no to the things that take us away from it. Thank you to Simone for reminding us that there is power in speaking up for ourselves and taking ownership of our own health.